In December 1984, every trace of colour and zeal slid abruptly out of
my life and I found myself mired in the dull gray depths of depression.
The trigger for it was losing my brother whom I loved very much. My
grief over brother's death was wrenching and natural. I too had a
declining health and even had to undergo a major operation.
One morning, I woke early to the same old gray mood. At last, facing
my anguish directly, I cried to Lord Sainath: "My life is dead, What
shall I do?"
Slowly in the hours that followed, bit by bit a Sai-plan began to form in
my mind. Lord Sainath made me feel a healthy rightness about them.
They were like rungs of a ladder for me to step on and climb out
of my bog.
During the next few weeks, I gradually put the ideas into
practice. .And it became clear that I was living in a more wholesome
way than I had for quite some time. I sensed that even before my
brother's death, my life had been hectic and fragile - and this may
have been why I could not come back from my grief.
I believe this plan was a gift from Lord Sainath. It helped me, and I
think it will help anyone who wants to put more life in his or her life.
1. EARLY MORNING SAI-REFRESHMENT
Each day I get-up 20 minutes earlier than in the past. This is not easy
when you are already tired and depressed. But after forcing myself to
do it at first, it became easier and then enjoyable, I spent this time
chanting 'Om Sri Sai, Jai Sai, Jai Jai Sai'. Then I would sit quietly,
listening what Lord Sainath might say or just being part of the earlymorning
stillness.
2. OUTINGS FOR INNER HEALTH
I built a period of outdoor exercise into each day. For me, it took the
form of a short but brisk walk to the temple; your choice could as
easily be jogging, biking and so on. The point is to get out and give
yourself little physical challenges-walking a certain number of blocks -
that start you moving.
3. SURPRISING YOURSELF
Change familiar routines so they become more satisfying. For
example if you are reading only Sai Satcharita, for a change you may
take up Bhagavatham or Ramayana, biographies of saints. In
addition, experiment with different foods and menus and think that
Lord Sai wishes a change everyday.
4. ENTERTAINING EVENTS
Instead of turning down invitations, I took the initiative in setting up a
meeting with a Sai-sister/brother each week-sometimes we would
shop or browse through a Sai-miracle, or may be just have tea and
some Sai talk.
I also scheduled a personal 'retreat' every Thursday, doing something
especially gratifying - i.e. participating in Sai-pooja and mass-bhajans.
My spirit drank in the peaceful-ness of these times.
The general idea is to be a little theatrical about your life - to 'stage'
events and scene changes and surprises for yourself. If you try, I feel
sure you will have livable years ahead.
i Do not spill the peace and the understanding that you. receive
during Sai-communion. Carry with you as long as you can,
throughout the day the thought of Lord Sainath and the peace that
you gather in the pail of consciousness during your Sai-pooja. This is
the way that one learns to hold on to Lord Sainath in the midst of all
one's activities. In the words of Paramahansa Yogananda : "We must
learn to be calmly active, actively calm, a prince of peace sitting on
the' throne of poise, directing bur kingdom of. activity,"
Mrs. SUBBULAKSHMI
Hubli - 580 032, Karnataka,
(SOURCE : SAIPRABHA JULY 1987)
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